MadelineLee

9/9/10

2010-09-09T09:23:00.002+08:00

Perhaps it would be easier if it weren't such a special date, for a thoughtless person like me.
It felt weird to look forward endlessly to something that isn't there anymore.
It felt sad not to be able to say " Happy Birthday" and see your smile.
I miss you, on every school holiday.
Wondering when will you date me again, worrying if you were happy over there.

Whenever there's an unexpected oversea call, I secretly longed that it is from you.
As Xmas draws near, I wished that I will get to receive ur card, surprises, well wishes and ur voice.
I promise, I will treasure this time.
It's just so difficult not being able to talk to you ever again.

So motivating

2010-07-08T11:37:00.006+08:00

Don't Quit!

When things go wrong, as they somtimes (always) will,

when the road you are trudging seems all uphill,

when the funds ar elow and the debts are high,

and you want to smile, but you have to sigh,

when care is pressing you down a bit,

rest, if you must, but do not quit.

Life is queer with its twists and turns,

as every one of us sometimes learns,

when he might have won had he stuck it out;

Don't give up though the pace seems slow,

you may succeed with another blow.

Often the goal is nearer than, it seems to a faint and faltering man,

often the struggler has given up,

when he might have captured the victor's cup,

and he learned too late when the night slipped down,

how close he was to the golden crown.

Success is failure turned inside out.

The silver tint of the clouds of doubt,

and you never can tell how close you are,

it may be near when it seems so far, so stick to the fight when you're hardest hit

it's when things seem worst that you must not quit.

Sassy GF

2010-07-08T09:52:00.002+08:00

I become a demanding gf when it comes to jobs, no, career.
Like a relationship, it has to be one where I can see myself committed to for a long time. (Maybe it's not so good, afterall.)
I know I shouldn't be choosy given my lousy class of honours, so my priority is money.
As long as they pay me well enough, I don mind doing boring stuffs.
Of course, if the prospects are really well but pay a little low, I will still prefer it.

I am so afraid that the fate of my job hunt will be similar to my past experiences.
Always cursed and never getting what I wished for.
Please just let me be lucky like before I turned 12.
So, I can plan my next dream trip and get my hands on those bags, shoes, clothes that I like instead of those in Taiwan, HK, etc.
Ok, being realistic, I will have to clear the study loan 1st, I hate paying for interests and being in debt.

The Question

2010-07-03T20:38:00.002+08:00

不怕嫁不出，
只怕嫁错郎。

Congras!

2010-07-01T11:10:00.003+08:00

Looking back at the blogs, so much have changed.
I am glad that my fren is happily leading her life with a caring partner.
I admire her courage for going against all odds just to be with her love.

There seems to have an expiry date for everything...
For Love
For Friendship
For Promises
For Bags
For Clothes
For Shoes
For everything that was once cherished.

If only I can be so lucky that everything given to me wasn't a bonus but something I deserved.

Thank you, Mr. 24/7

2010-06-23T18:56:00.002+08:00

Someone claims to love me yet he got all upset when I don't wish to fulfill his selfish desires.
He kept talkin about HIS dream about us without a care about mine.
Is love supposed to make me feel disgusted?

Well, at least this person makes me appreciate someone else.
Thank you Mr Catus for always been there. I nv understand how you do that.
Thank you for saying things that I wanna hear when I needed assurance.
Thank you for saying things that I don wish to hear when I needed another opinion.
Thank you for being that someone who loved me so real.

Don't you get it?

2010-06-12T10:42:00.001+08:00

It's not that I want to declare defeat even before the battle starts, it just seemed that I have to work so much harder than others to achieve similar thing. Or maybe not even get it after putting much more effort. So, if you don't try to understand, stop bothering me to show that you "care".

Finally, it's over

2010-05-05T00:12:00.002+08:00

The semester ended with a paper that I don't think i can even pass.
sighs... hopefully, there's empathy point just for graduation.
There nothing much to look forward to except that there will be no more studying for now.
So, now I am on the way to a new path with a new role- Money Slave.

Innocently, I walked into those money traps.
There's really no free lunch in the world *shakes head vigorously*
I can foresee myself being pressurised to look for a job, then divide the salary to different "departments". It's like paying for those extra add-on for the handphone that Singtel "automatically" charge you for when you don't even want it, don even know it, don even need it!

I don't dare to accept "free" gifts shove at me anymore.

So much for anticipation

2010-04-15T22:25:00.001+08:00

Am giving up the America Dream...

No one really understand, isn't it?

It doesn't matter

2010-04-11T23:24:00.002+08:00

If it isn't exactly what I dreamt of, then anything else meant nothing.

If it isn't something I like, then it doesn't count

It's not the thought that counts...

Where is the thought when you don deliver whatever u know i long for?

Come on, b yourself n stop following others' footstep.

It's a wrong start to begin with.

2010-04-10T23:07:00.001+08:00

Out of the blue, I wonder how does a fish bone pendant looks like...

I guess I will nv get to have it.

There's angels around

2010-04-04T21:48:00.002+08:00

The happiest thing during Easter is to see many other people getting baptized to becoming one big family.

I wondering if someone will ever do tat soon.

Till now, i still regret not doing my part to share when the opportunity knocked as someone looking for faith approached me.

Anyway, my TA for microbio is super nice. She volunteered to check my report before submission so that i can get A instead of the usual Bs. I'm really stupid with everyone else getting A.

Everyone seems to be really panicky about handing thesis.

There are into their 1000 drafts

and i am just done with Material and Methods 1st draft.

Yet, i still went out for facial, buy kites and run.

Sighs... I guess tat's the reason why i'm less successful other than the low IQ.

Tat's makes me wonder if the deadline is tml.

Got back the CA results for Cancer pharmaco.

I need a sprinkle of miracle to do well for tat module when 50% of it had alredy being diagnosed as negative.

give me luck

I miss you, my friends

2010-04-03T21:37:00.003+08:00

Haven't been blogger since my com's IE refuse to let me into blogger.

Had to resort to using safari...

Rushing my thesis now (only started w intro today).

Towards the end of the honors project, I wonders if there's something wrong with me.

I mean, why am I always rushing things till the last minute and only left to regret. Am I too slow to keep up or am I jus plain lazy till the last sec? I wondered where's the confidence and passion to succeed?

Sighs...

Time like this, I jus miss boney to shower words of encouragement, bribe me with promises of rewards and shopping trips to town.

And night like this, I miss Playboy. Wondered how is he but actually, I jus missed someone to talked nonsense with me non-stop for company and sing me song with a can-make-it voiceThen again, i deserve it. When they are always around, I jus got too busy w myself

Still, I can't give away hug to friends no matter how much i understand.

I still feel uneasy if someone were to even shook my shoulders out of exasperation.

Miss Diplomatic

2010-01-29T20:45:00.009+08:00

Wednesday

These were what I SMSed after I see that my stuffs had been used and not properly placed. Not only that, am I suppose to throw away that only 1 stick left in the packet or do you expect me to use it?

On Thursday, I got the most appreciative email ever in my life.

I was contemplating whether I should play facebook(which I haven't even have the time to feed my pet for days) or reply that email. I ended up on this:

Here's part 2:

Do I have to announce that I wake up at about 5-5:30am and try to sleep before 12am with a lunch break of 'bout 10min so that I can get my experiment done, stuff 2 slices of bread to prevent hunger, run to library to wait n print notes and rush to lecture? I find it so embarrassing to be sleeping on the mrt, running around the lab and school like a mad woman just so that I can finish my work and graduate asap. I have so much to worry about my own stuffs, so why would I even think of you in my "free" time to talk about you, to my imaginary friends or breads?
On Friday, I do have 2 hours break. I spent eating with my friends but we do not gossip. We are all fast eaters and we just want to go back to lab to finish up work and/or print notes for later lecture.

When I didn't argue with you, it simply means that I don't even want to spend time on that and so I just accept and do whatever I can. Do not push the limit. You are not a princess to me.

WHY?

2010-01-16T22:50:00.002+08:00

Why am I still doing something when it hurts so much?
It's not even like me.
I know I was never born to be loved but surely, I can prevent myself from being torture, no?
The more unhappy I am, the more I desire money.
Finally, I realised why I didn't want any 10 years ago.

New Year

2010-01-11T20:08:00.002+08:00

The semester started officially today...
It's high time to fight for Bus 95, long lunch queues and occupied seats and even computers in the library to print notes...
Sighs...
Nothing to look forward to.
Nothing for CNY cum Birthday cum Vday.
It's horrible enough when they fall close together.
Hopefully can wake up to a brand new year -2011

Stars

2009-11-22T22:19:00.004+08:00

My parents truly love me
I have no complaint :)

2012

2009-11-20T18:34:00.002+08:00

Finally, a movie worthy of the ticket price.

Goodbyes

2009-11-16T19:32:00.002+08:00

I had chosen to believe in fairy tales as if they were history, against all odds.
I started to have doubts only when someone, whom I had painted a dream with, commented, " Can you stop living in bubble and grow up!?"
Now, I failed to comprehend, how can the blissfully loved woman ended the story with a less-than-perfect divorce? Still, I am glad that she is still very much happy, not the way I envied though. From her blog,

After a While
Veronica Shoffstall

After a while you learn
the subtle difference between holding a hand and chaining a soul
and you learn
that love doesn't mean leaning
and company doesn't always mean security.
And you begin to learn
that kisses aren't contracts and presents aren't promises
and you begin to accept your defeats
with your head up and your eyes ahead
with the grace of woman, not the grief of a child
and you learn
to build all your roads on today
because tomorrow's ground is too uncertain for plans
and futures have a way of falling down
in mid-flight.
After a while you learn
that even sunshine burns
if you get too much
so you plant your own garden
and decorate your own soul
instead of waiting for someone to bring you flowers.
And you learn that you really can endure
you really are strong
you really do have worth
and you learn
and you learn
with every goodbye, you learn...
© 1971 Veronica A. Shoffstall

So, I have decided to buy flowers for myself before I forget what is my favourite.
Then, I plan to buy birthday cake with "Happy Birthday to Me" every year.
Even with my low EQ and SA, I "sensed" the disappointment.
Still, I went ahead with one of your rules of "Assumption makes an ass out of you and me" but the benefit of doubts was destroyed.
At the end of the day, parents are the only ones whom will love unconditionally. I think I hear the same sentiment in my Dad's voice when he realised when my birthday is going to be upon getting the new calendar.
I have been slacking for far too long.
It's time to fight for freedom, for ME, BOOMZ!

P.S. Thank you Mr. Eye Candy for ending the Semester with a nice "Goodbye".

It's getting sick

2009-11-04T19:06:00.002+08:00

It's had been awhile since I dread going to school.
It used to be the endless physical training for Hockey.
Now, it's the unfriendly environment and "creative" warning notes pasted around the work area.
I can't wait for the project to end...

Happy Birthday

2009-10-30T23:24:00.001+08:00

Just celebrated a little princess 8 Years Old
and I felt happier than on my birthday...

It's good to be a child...

Mr. Eye-Candy

2009-10-19T20:05:00.003+08:00

The crazy rush starts before dawn to dusk everday for the past week,
The pile of work to be done a.s.a.p,
The lack of sleep and fufillment,
The frustration and the lack of courage to speak my mind,
the hormonal change,
all boils up to nightmares that carry over to the next day.

Today, the cycle begins again but with some good twists.
Had lunch at YIH with Theresa and Lora.
At least I don have to gobble down my lunch, I mean, I can't do that with others around.
The best part of the lunch was that there are free coffee and goodies bag.
Then, Prof. Edmund wanted the lecture to end early as I wanted.
So I managed to rush back to lab and finished off the 3rd replicate of photo-taking which turned out that I have to repeat again.
Finally, the best part of the day is that I was late for tutorial but there's an empty seat conviently located next to Mr. Eye-Candy.
Wait, I am not excited about him asking me about some tutorial qns but him asking for my name.
I am so looking forward to test on Friday because he is goin to be sitting next to me.
(Though I don't have time to study well for it).

Happily ever after...NOT

2009-10-07T19:50:00.004+08:00

So much had happened, yet, I couldn't even find time to take a good long bath.

1. The woman whom I deemed to be most blissfully loved is on the verge of gettin a divorce. It made me have doubts about certain beliefs.
2. I jus't can't get good experimental results and time is running out... Or rather, I am losing the motivation and energy.
3. The longer I stay the lab, the more unfamiliar it seems.
4. The week-long flu manifested itself into an unbearable sore throat... as if there's a saw cutting throw my flesh every time I move any muscle there... OUCH! :'(
5. I look fwd to this sat gathering... it's been 10 years?

Get a better brain aunty

2009-09-22T10:23:00.003+08:00

DAMN Fucking Angry

It's ok for people to say I am fat when you are referring to me ME ME.
It's not ok for people to tell my parents, " Your daugther is fat, must lose weight, " when they simply jumped to conclusion after seeing my parents' photo with another girl.
The above is just an example to illustrate how frustrating it can be when they are referring to me based on someone else they thought is me (I can't expose the truth directly).
Like, you can't comment that, " Your daugther should study harder, be more hardworking," should they seen my parents with a girl in ITE uniform.
What the fuck!?

It's worse when such thing can be prevented.
Of course, the real truth is not my parents whom will surely clarify I am not the one in the photo irregardless of positive or negative comment.
The fact is, that person in the photo is simply not me.
I do not post my photo anymore.
Neither do I like to take photo ever since I find it hard to fake a smile for camera.
So, that smiling-broadly person in the photo is NOT ME!

P.S. I really should lose weight.

2009-09-19T23:54:00.005+08:00

3 things that make me a sicko

Life gets hectic having to deal with project's deadline and tests.
It didn't help when people around you make life tougher.

I am really sick of those people's judgemental view(s) on

1) what I wear to school. I can't figure out why they have those "funny" expression when I wear something apart from the shorts and t-shirt. Even the auntie who cleans the lab gave me a second look and explained, " I have never seen you wear jeans." I almost feel sorry for my Dad when he asked me, "Do the girls from your uni wear dresses to school?"

2) my stand with regards to money issue. They keep criticising that I am money-face. It's not like I ever lend or beg for money from them.

3) my cold-bloodedness. Just because I didn't shed a tear, it doesn't mean I am not hurt. Maybe blood is thicker than water. However, why does losing a friend to death hurt much more than losing a (distant) relative? Just because I do not bother much, it doesn't mean that I should accept people talking to me like I'm a beast. Even animals should have rights.

When the universe gets more disorderly, I really shouldn't be wasting my time explaining to those people. I should have just left, the sooner and the better. Some things just never get better.

"New Life"

2009-08-20T20:22:00.002+08:00

Final year to get you

Finally, I began to unstand the myths of complains about FYP since school officially started.
It's hell having to wake up at 5:30am and trying to get on the mrt to Pasir Ris from Yishun, only to have Ang Moh who snatched the seat I have been praying hard for with an "excuse me".
I could feel my face boiling and wondered why didn't I just kick him.
So I ended up standing for 45minutes when I could have took a precious nap.
Argh...

It doesn't help when the project requires you to do everything by 11am.
Once you miss this "prime period", the day is wasted.
The only thing in the lab that cheers me up is this person who is really good at hooking up pretty girls.
He must be very good with Probability and Evolution.

Initially, I tried to be really positive and things improved.
As predicted, good things never last, at least for me.
Everyone, everything just seemed to pull me down and force me realised that I am such a worthless junk.
Thus, I decided to resort to the Singaporean's motto promoted by our dear government,
"Be practical".
Everyday I just look forward to sleep and that's what keep me going, ironically.
God, please send me an angel.

Never feel so tired for so many days.

Have you ever come across an interesting blog from professor?
taxidiary.blogspot.com

My Friends

2009-08-03T15:24:00.001+08:00

Just an attitude, an eye-contact, a tone, or a body language can cause someone to judge.

As someone who always crave for freedom (of speech, expression, etc), I find it really boring to choose my words and expression so as not to leave a wrong/bad one.
Deep down, I find myself so fake that I want to puke. Why would I subject myself to replicate others' ways of surviving in this concrete jungle? Shouldn't we be fighting to be accepted the way we truly are? Unless the truth is evil, perhaps.

I never once stop to think and appreciate my friends until I lose a dear one to Death.
Similarly, I keep thinking that my friends have forsaken me (vice versa) until I called one of them. Yesterday, I couldn't stop myself from boiling even after taking in 100 deep breaths.
Yet, my friend's understanding worked like miracle when I didn't even say a single shit.

“So what happened? Once I see your call, I put down all my works so that I can hear your complains."

It's just so comforting to know that at the end of the day, there's at least one person that truly understands and won't consider me as BAD even though I am full of complains and bad attitude.

Many people can't tolerate straight-forwardness. I wonder if there's something wrong with their souls.
I am glad that my FYP partner is so frank. She just never fails to brighten up my days. I am thankful to have this handful of people whom allow me to be myself.

Still, I may try to express myself "correctly" as requested so that I won't bite with my words and actions. However, do you know that it is at the expense of me?
It's a choice made between you and me.

It ended

2009-07-10T19:33:00.000+08:00

The solution to ending the cold war

Nuclear bomb.

Lab. politics

2009-07-09T19:18:00.002+08:00

How do measure seriousness?

Although the air-con in the lab. broke down, the cold war continues for 3 days.

About 8 years ago, I couldn't quite understand why seniors and teachers find joking and talking during break as not taking the CCA seriously.

I thought they are sadist, don't want others to bask in happiness that they are deprived of.

Now, I came to understand what my Dad said,

" There will be conflict in any where with more than 1 human."

Surely, we are old enough to learn from stern warning instead of dirty little tricks.

If seriousness is desired, stop being a clown.

Project "Love"

2009-06-27T16:30:00.003+08:00

Have you ever believe that if love is genuine, it will last a forever?

Love, no matter how true, is a fragile commodity. Like little embryo, it must be carefully maintained and protected if it is to survive. Love can easily be overcome by fungus of ever-changing life.

When one is too busy with work, when there's no time for romance, when there's not enough time to even talk, then love can die.

For one week, I tended to those little embryos so that they don't get choked out by fungus.
I didn't think that they reflect so much of life until the dead are discarded and the "defected" struggle to survive. In this society, being rare may not be rewarding.

Perhaps it's high time to clear up the fungi and tend to the rare embryo worthy of preserve.

Time changes Value

2009-06-13T21:16:00.004+08:00

I used to wait more than 5 hours without hesitation,
I used to anticipate excitedly,
I used to go the extra miles,
just to admire the wonderful art of fireworks.

Finally, I am surrounded by fireworks.
It felt like love...

Perfect?

2009-06-11T20:25:00.003+08:00

I thought that "perfect" is never in my dictionary.
I couldn't understand Perfectionist.
I thought wrong.
Deep down, I seek perfection.

Something old

2009-05-29T23:08:00.004+08:00

Something new

I just read Monster's posts.
At each entry, I could almost see the curvy smile and hear the slightly coarse laughter.
At some point in life, there are some people who share the same path, yet, not for long even with accelerator released.

During the TW trip, I just found it odd to smile for the camera.
To pacify the cameraman, I imagine putting toothpicks at the corners of my lips.
I couldn't help but wonder, " When can I smile genuinely, again?"

Out of the blue, I met up with 2 friends whom I haven't seen for 5 years.
80% of the time, I couldn't stop myself from laughing till my voice went coarse and my cheek turned numb.
It was one of those rare occasions whereby I wasn't disappointed, as my friends still remain the way I know them.
Some things are best preserved the way they are.

Taiwan

2009-05-20T12:26:00.004+08:00

"Holiday"

There's always a first time- to look forward to home.

I felt drained rather than refreshed.

I felt more bored than before.

I don even feel like taking another trip.

Something was missing.

I got pissed off by fellow Singaporeans' noisy return to the hotel every night and at the same time, I wondered how can they seem to enjoy the same place much more than me, bought more bags of stuffs than me?

I couldn't help but asked, "Am I expecting too much?"

Was it a holiday to Pollutive Hell?

Respect Religion

2009-04-15T23:25:00.003+08:00

I am a Catholic, always and forever.

It made me nauseous to realize that people treat me nicely out of motive. I do not mind attending a play or anything not to my interest for the sake of my friends but I loathe dishonesty. It is almost like going to the beauty salon and they only tell you the benefits of the whole package but not the hidden cost. I strongly stand for freedom but do not try to attract me into any church with a disguise. Don’t say, “Go for an interesting and touching drama” but say “Can u join my church?” Not only it is a waste of your effort but also a waste of my time. I feel cheated. Do you mean that you use incentives such as free drama instead of the true belief of God to draw people to your church?

Many people widen their eyes in disbelief when they learn that I am a catholic. My close friends even enjoy promoting me as one because it seems like a joke. Perhaps I do not live up to the stereotype of one. I am not English-speaking, I do not preach and ask people to visit my church, I do not pray before I eat, etc. However, I am a faithful believer.

Is it too much to ask for respect and honesty?
(Although I am finding it hard to respect just this one person whom I hope can have the same belief as me. Maybe it is karma.)

P.S. Catholic does not worship Mother Mary but we do honor her and not forget about someone so dear to Jesus. Please do not carry wrong idea and spread rumor about my religion. Read and learn if you truly want to know.

Get well soon

2009-04-09T22:17:00.003+08:00

Mr. Diamond

The past few days, I heard news about this guy who got knocked down by taxi while he was trying to help others involved in an accident. It was tragic but I didn't really pay much attention until now that I realised he is someone I had met before. I remembered him as the guy who stopped traffic in order to look for those diamond earrings he got for his 'gf' which dropped out of his pocket. I wasn't thrilled then. However, I am touched by his thoughtfulness towards others even strangers, now. Perhaps, it really doesn't pay to be nice unless you want to twist it into a blessing in ugly disguise.

Last weekend, I was told to appreciate the things that are given to me, even if they aren't what I want because people really try very hard to please me. Like how I should be happy as long as someone got me a diamond because I wanted it even if it isn't in the design or size I wanted. I just think that they don't understand. I don't want anything for the sake of owing one. Anyway, I didn't really desire having diamond, I was simply singing in tune with them when they asked me what I want from jewellery shop. I insisted on having the things I truly want and not compromise for anything less. It's all or none.

Yet, I am having second thought now. Perhaps I have been too stubborn. I really should appreciate from the way others think for me.

How original?

2009-04-04T19:41:00.002+08:00

Confessions of a Shopaholic

The movie lacks originality.

It almost like a replica of The Devil Wears Prada.

And I saw someone using a Billabong-imitation bag.

Down on Luck

2009-04-03T12:31:00.002+08:00

Unlucky?

It seems that (almost, like 90%) every one of my schoolmates had gotten their supervisors and projects except me.

I feel like a mouse in a maze.

Should I just quit this rat race in NUS?

2009-04-03T12:27:00.002+08:00

Brand-conscious

What is wrong with that?

We should just maximise the utility with every dollar, isn't it?

Quit asking me what I want.

I am so sick of it!

10 random things

2009-03-20T19:04:00.002+08:00

10 random things

(I read someone's blog w this, so for the fun of it, here goes...)

1. Someone helped me make the trip to Tanjong Pagar which I fully appreciate. I have been running errands for my parents far too many times and sick of making long trips just to get something which others can do too.

3. Of course, I miss those delicacies there.

2. I cooked instead of eating out 'cos i'm fighting with some pathogens that ppl have been passing to me every day from LT to mrt rides to bus rides... I admit I don't 100%

practice, but why can't ppl just go see a doctor and recover soon rather than insisting to work for days ( even months) while sneezing all those bugs to others in this world of uncertainty.

4. Annie (Anything) is down with dengue and I feel for her. I wish her immunity win the fight damn soon.

5. I should get a health insurance instead of those "junks" i wanted.

6. I wondered if i can work with black mouse for about a year.

7. My grandmother jolt me out of my beautiful dream after having nightmare.

8. I started getting too grumpy for my own good.

9. It sux to be the last few in any ballot.

10. Pork knuckle can be not so tasty overall.

Protect them, protect dream

2009-02-25T21:26:00.005+08:00

Children-The magic of innocence

Innocence is like a bubble we are in,

once pricked by the needle of truth,

it's lost, gone, varnished.

There is no turning back.

Out we go into the real world.

Cruel facts.

Reality.

The harsh world.

We no longer feel safe.

We can never feel safe.

Not ever again.

Maybe only when it all comes to an end.

Finally, I realised the reasons behind those unconditional loves to little ones...

You just have to protect them from those needles that break the spell.

Autoimmunity- Criticism

2009-02-11T17:41:00.004+08:00

Recently, I decided to try out the Indian Food store in Science.
To my delight, it's nice by the standard of Science canteen.
Hence, I shared star-awarding food review with my friend, A.

As though by reflex reaction, B (who was with us), commented, "So unhealthy.”
He meant the fried chicken and fried fish. Surely, the store doesn’t just sell those dishes I bought.

He was having chicken rice. Though the chick looked roasted, it was fried. Besides, chicken rice is supposed to be cook with oil from chicken.

I simply cannot understand how people try to portray themselves as healthy individual. At least not in this sense.

2009-02-06T00:26:00.001+08:00

A blind boy sat on the steps of a building with a hat by his feet. He held up a sign which said: 'I am blind, please help.' There were only a few coins in the hat.

A man was walking by. He took a few coins from his pocket and dropped them into the hat. He then took the sign, turned it around, and wrote some words. He put the sign back so that everyone who walked by would see the new words. Soon the hat began to fill up. A lot more people were giving money to the blind boy.

That afternoon the man who had changed the sign came to see how things were.

The boy recognized his footsteps and asked, 'Were you the one who changed my sign this morning? What did you write?'

The man said, 'I only wrote the truth. I said what you said but in a different way.'

What he had written was: 'Today is a beautiful day and I cannot see it.'

Do you think the first sign and the second sign were saying the same thing? Of course both signs told people the boy was blind. But the first sign simply said the boy was blind. The second sign told people they were so lucky that they were not blind. Should we be surprised that the second sign was more effective?

The most beautiful thing is to see a person smiling... And even more beautiful is, knowing that you are the reason behind it...

Life thru fun to scary.

2009-01-04T22:28:00.003+08:00

When we are young, our whole lives are about the pursue of fun.
Then, we grow up and learn to be cautious.
We could break a bond or a heart.
We look before we leave but sometimes, we don't leave it all because there's not always someone there to catch us.
And in life, there's no safety net.
When did it stop being fun and start being scary?

Start, end, gay.

2009-01-04T11:32:00.004+08:00

After that rare opportunity of meeting Boney,
I couldn't help but wonder, does the start of a relationship marks the end of another?
Do we have to be gays to b loved by people who truly understand?

Inevitable change?

2008-12-28T22:23:00.002+08:00

How do we deal with separation?
Some choose to take photos for keepsake while others like to hold some sort of celebration.
Or do you just let it pass like any other mundane things in life?

"The part is inevitable but the pain is eternal."
I miss you, though it's unspeakable.

7. Final Reflection

2008-11-11T22:34:00.002+08:00

Final Reflection

“Active listening contributes significantly to an effective communication, even though many people consider talking to be more powerful or important than listening.” Unfortunately, I am one of those people and was taken aback when I learnt about this during the first lesson of this course. Since then, I have been attempting to practice active listening such as listening for details in order to gasps the finer points of the whole picture before I make any response. With this active listening skill, I am able to express myself as genuinely concerned about the speakers and hence, encourage them to share more with me. Active listening can prevent many misunderstanding and even helps to build rapport between my friends and me. On the other hand, I am still feeling difficulty in “listening to evaluate” especially in face of “value difference” and “gender difference”. In order to communicate effectively in the presence of such differences takes more than skills but also understanding and acceptance. Currently, I am reading this book, The Female Brain, by Louann Brizendine. The authors gave many real and interesting examples about the differences between men and women in interpreting the same words. The journey to becoming an effective communicator certainly takes a life time.

I am grateful for the skills taught in constructing resume and job application letter. Prior to this course, I was constantly held back by uncertainty when it comes to writing resume to apply for jobs during school vacation. Furthermore, this course presented me with many opportunities to practice communication skills, from interacting with group members to oral presentation. The experiences of learning and communicating with peers have been a fruitful and enjoyable experience. Not only have we built new friendships, we also accomplished various assignments thought teamwork and effective communication. The requirement to present for the report made me realize how much confidence I had lost over the years due to the lack of practice and opportunity to present ideas formally in front of others. This experience from oral presentation will always serve as a reminder that communication skills need to be constantly practiced in order to achieve desirable results.

I would like to thank Miss Happy, my group members, Derek and Mongshi, and all the classmates for giving me such a wonderful learning experience. I hope we have the chance to work together in future.

6. Biodata

2008-10-25T11:36:00.002+08:00

Madeline Lee's Biodata

I am currently a year 3 Science major in NUS, pursuing a degree in Lifescience. I would like to contribute to the healthcare sector with the analytical and practical skills that I have picked up throughout my educational learning experience. I am also keen to venture out in the financial sector as I was fascinated with business economy after reading Economics during my course of study.

Being out-going, I worked as a customer service officer during my school holidays. The job scope gave me opportunities to communicate with people, pick up advertising and organizing skills. Traveling has also shaped my personality and interpersonal communication skills positively.

5. Project Experience

2008-10-13T10:46:00.003+08:00

The Research Project Experience

The birth of a baby is a miracle. Though it may not as magnificent as having a human being, it was hard to believe that so much can be accomplished over the past few weeks. Initially, there seemed to be a drag in starting on the report. Perhaps, the awkwardness in working with fresh faces and the lack of a common research topic were the obstacles in starting the ball to roll. Fortunately, bits and pieces of the report began to take form once we have started on the survey and researches. Much of the success has to be contributed to the clearly organized schedule uploaded for the course and the effort made by each and every of the team members to meet the deadlines.

The major problem faced in due of completing the report is the needs to present all data and information formally, especially when I am not used to this formality. As highlighted in “The 7Cs in Writing”, correctness in language and formality are crucial in ensuring that the project report captures the attention of targeted audiences and achieve desirable aim of the report, which is to boost Singapore’s birth rate through improving employee’s welfare. In order to improve on the written report, everyone in the team have been revising, proofreading and editing regularly. Hence, every difficulty in doing the report has been solved through valuable skills learnt during lessons and team cooperation.

Overall, it had been a wonderful experience as new friendship has been made. Having good interpersonal relationships help tremendously in completing the report smoothly as every member are equally willing to contribute, share and understand each other. I hope we can continue with this team spirit for the preparation of oral presentation and work together in making the whole project a success.

Our differences.

2008-09-27T08:17:00.003+08:00

Trunk or Boot?

Finally, I recalled some differences in the terms used in referring to objects and stuffs between Singaporeans and Americans.

We use tissue paper and/or serviette while they use napkin.
We may put our stuffs back into the boot of a car while they do so in the trunk of a car.
In Singapore, we are being asked, “Having here or take away?” while the Americans will ask, “For here or to go?” And they offered to-go boxes for unfinished food.

4. Intercultural Observation

2008-09-24T21:30:00.007+08:00

Fremont Street and the Friendly Americans

Intercultural Experience

During the summer vacation, I went sightseeing in USA. I was staying with my friend in Arizona and we decided to drive up to Las Vegas during Independence Day. Hence, we rented a car through Enterprise's (a company that rent and sell cars) website and they had the Pick-Me-Up service. One of the things I envy the Americans is that almost all the company have websites. Thus, it is very convenient to do on-line shopping or to seek information. Another is good customer service. Under the Pick-Me-Up service, one of the staffs from Enterprise would fetch us from our residential area to their company to drive the rental car. Therefore, it saved us much trouble and it was free.

Immediately after we had identified the staff, she introduced herself by her first name, Doreen. Throughout the journey, she was very friendly and made the effort to address us by our first names. Also, she would keep up a conversation by asking about our trips and share experiences with us. Unfortunately, my friend and I were feeling rather guilty as we had forgotten about hers in less than a minute until we saw her name tag latter. Besides, it was not a cultural norm for me to have such causal conversation with people I meet for the first time. To me, it was more of a business setting but the Americans always make it like we are all friends.

Therefore, there was an awkward moment when we got off from the car, and she amicably asked me, “Why are you so quiet?”

I was taken back and only managed to return a polite smile. Unlike me, she was used to speaking with strangers and being direct. Therefore, she was concerned when I had not participate much to the conversation and, perhaps, afraid that I was left out. Americans tend to not wait to be introduced and will begin to speak with strangers as they stand in a queue, sit next to each other at an event. On the other hand, Singaporeans tend to avoid unnecessary conversation with strangers and even eye contact.

From this experience, I have learnt to let myself go and to be more direct with Americans. Although it was far from norm (relative to Singapore), I managed to be outgoing with the sales personels serving me, as though I had known them as friends. Interestingly, that led to more comfortable interactions.

Project Draft 1

2008-09-15T04:37:00.002+08:00

Project Draft 1: Delayed Parenthood

After much deliberation, our group decided to do a research on the topic of delayed parenthood. This topic was brought up during this year’s national rally and has been a mainstay of much of our national discussion for some time.

The title for our research project is “Delayed Parenthood among NUS Students” and for our research question we would like to know why the higher educated population of Singapore are not willing to procreate. Besides this, we would also like to find out what would be a good incentive for NUS students to have children in the future. Our hypothesis is that with better employees’ welfare, we can encourage NUS students to have babies in the future. With our project, we have limited ourselves to just NUS students because we know that in a few years they will be joining the workforce and their current attitude towards having children will be important if they were to start parenthood early. Besides this, we are excluding cases of unwanted pregnancies. We want to do a research case whereby both mother and father are ready and willing to step into parenthood together.

Problem Statement

The objective of this study is to analyze if having better employees’ welfare will encourage NUS students to have babies.

Audience

The target audiences of the research project are the relevant authority in Ministry of Manpower and NUS students.

Tentative Purpose Statement

One of the objectives of this report is to inform the Ministry of Manpower the attitude of NUS students towards having children. We also hope to inform them of the positive effects on our birthrate with better employees’ welfare.

The second objective is to encourage NUS students to have babies in the future.

Methodology

Survey will be used to gain NUS students’ opinion regarding the issues on delayed parenthood. One hundred survey forms will be distributed to 3rd and 4th year NUS students randomly.

We will also be working with literature review found on websites, newspaper and relevant advertisement, etc.

Members: Derek, Mongshi, Madeline

3. What is keeping ourselves from Parenthood?

2008-09-05T20:47:00.002+08:00

What is Keeping Ourselves from Parenthood?

At 16, my dream of the future certainly included my loved ones and beautiful children. The perfect two, a boy and a girl, just like the “Stop at two” posters. Ironically, at 21, I started having second thought about getting married. So here I am, trying to figure out why young people (like me) these days are reluctant to have children. Is it simply a financial problem?

As the economy of Singapore continue to grow and bloom, her birth rate fell and dropped last year to 1.26 babies per woman of childbearing age. Certainly, there are other areas of concern that keep Singaporean away from parenting. It is not uncommon to hear people sputtered in exasperation,” How do you expect me to have children when I’m a child myself?” Thus, I would like to propose a research project that looks into this issue, targeting at the students at NUS.

Instead of relying only on the common assumption that materialistic goals are the only evils in stopping the birth of babies, an attitudinal survey would be needed to answer the research question, “What is keeping young Singaporean from parenting?” Thus, the survey results would enable us to come up with feasible solutions to curb the problem.

Finally, we could address the problem by coming up with an appropriate model of rewards that would encourage young Singapore couples to pass on the Singaporean genes. The method of presentations would be to compare the parenthood packages offered by developed nations to increase birth rate. The two models that I would like to compare are the Singapore’s newly revised Marriage and Parenthood Schemes to Norway’s welfare model. I found Norway’s success story in keeping a healthy birthrate interesting and applicable to Singapore.

In conclusion, the issue of the proposed project is delayed parenthood in Singapore and the objective of the study is to determine the causes which might induce the students at NUS to having the intention of delayed parenthood. Hence, the report would cover a proposed solution model to solving the Singapore’s problem.

2. Resolving Interpersonal Conflict

2008-08-30T11:22:00.002+08:00

History of a Poorly-Solved Conflict

Conflicts often arise through misunderstanding and through insensitivity caused by people who like to sow discord among others. I used to visit my seventh aunt at her coffee shop with my mother every Saturday. It was like a chit-chat session for my mother with her sister as well as my godmother, who is also my sixth aunt, and a little girl she babysat. I loved to play with little children until this particular incident that happened when I was ten years of age. Now, it made me think twice before playing with them.

One afternoon, I decided to ignore the little girl as my mother had warned me before we set off. For the past few weeks, she had been very whiny and caused me to be blamed for disturbing her. As I was daydreaming, the little girl mischievously arranged a row of chairs in front of her and tried to hit me behind them. Upon feeling the first impact of her little fist, I shifted away from her. Like a spoilt little brat, she persisted on hitting me. When she grew tired, she started to cry and accused me of hitting her! Like a protective guardian, my godmother reprimanded me, “You are old enough not to bully little children like that!” As she proceeded to hug and comfort that little “victim”, my seventh aunt began her own series of lectures with me when she caught wind about this drama.
Similarly, my mother chose to tell me off. Meanwhile, I was too stunned and young to react immediately. Finally, the ever peaceful and quiet uncle also joined in the fun. That was the last straw.

I did the unimaginable at that time. I yelled at them, “I did not do anything to her! She was the one who tried to hit me behind the chairs and got injured!” I totally lost it at that moment and broken down in tears of anger. I bet they were too shocked to continue putting me on the carpet. I refused to address them for the next two weeks. I had never been angrier. I felt so wronged and unfairly treated. Even though I knew it is not respectful to shout at adults, I simply had to stand up for myself.

Looking back, I should have tried to convince them that I was innocent. Perhaps, explain to them in a nice way so that they would not think that I was rude and had poor upbringing. I definitely do not want to reflect poorly on my parents. Unfortunately, the communication skills of a ten years old child were not very advanced then. The reaction was almost instinctive. For my mother side of story, I fully understand that she had to scold me even if she had believed me. It was like the “socially acceptable” action to take for a mother who has to be held responsible for my behavior.

On the other hand, my aunts and uncle could have reacted according to their strong belief that children (below two years old but not ten) do not lie. Perhaps, they were irritated by the annoying cry of children, so they tried to put a stop to it by reprimanding me. Yet, they ought to get to the bottom of the case before shooting their mouths off. Such accusations not only do not solve the root of problem but can also result in adverse psychological impacts in children. Since then, I believe that respect should be earned.

Now, people seem to forget about that incident, neither do they ever reprimand me again. Yet, I feel that the relationship can never be the same again. It is like a Chinese vase. Once broken, the vase may be mended; but it will never look the same. Family conflicts are such headaches, they are really hard to solve amicably. What would you do if one of your family members was biased against you?

1. Effective Communication Skills

2008-08-23T18:30:00.010+08:00

Effective Communication Skills

Every day, in many ways, we communicate with other people. Sometimes it is verbally, other times it is through the written word, and we even do it non-verbally through what we call body language. For that matter, we can use images to communicate, and even a scent can carry a message. If we expect to get our point, our message, our meaning across, it is important that we have good communication skills. To prevent disappointment or even frustration, it has always been a desire to master these skills and to build better rapport with special people who cross the same path.

Effective communication is the key to building positive relationship with people. This interaction with people from colleagues to friends plays a crucial role in determining the success of getting work done and getting the response we hope for. Having successful communication networks with people can be beneficial such as enabling one to substantiate formal messages. For example, your colleague would share with you this, “The boss told Chris off for chatting on the MSN during office hours”. Upon receiving this important information, you would know that your boss is really serious and you would avoid making that mistake. Hence, effective communication skill is like stepping-stone in life.

Surprisingly or not, active listening contributes significantly to an effective communication, even though many people consider talking to be more powerful or important than listening. The ability to listen well is important as it determines how well a person interprets information and gives appropriate response, in a communication. The clearest information will not guarantee getting a work done successfully if the audience is not paying careful attention. Similarly, renowned chefs cannot bring satisfaction to their customers if they turn a deaf ear to specific ordering requests. Therefore, active listening is on par with oral skill. They are complement to effective communication.

Indeed, there are many reasons in support of effective communication. The above mentioned points on the importance of effective communication are what I hope to achieve through this course—building rapport with my peers and to sharpen my listening skill.